Women and Emotional Holding Patterns

March 8th, we celebrated International Women’s Day acknowledging the strength, and resilience of women in all cultures and how far we have come fighting for equality and standing up for what we believe in. YES, I am very proud of my ancestors and those that have gone before me breaking down the barriers that allows me to have the independence I cherish today.  However, in my practice, I am noticing that women are voicing feeling disconnected – not only from one another, but also from themselves – unwilling or unable to tap into their emotions that allow them to heal the past, including ancestral patterns and therefore struggling to be present.  We hold so much inside that we become numb, and it starts showing up physically and mentally.


As an example, I had something trigger me this past week that brought up so much anger and resentment that it really had a physical effect on me for a few days.  I thought I had moved through this past event, learned from it, and moved on.  But the visceral reaction was so great that I had to take time to make sense of it to move it out of my body.  For me, my stomach was like a knot – an area that represents our self-confidence, how we form relationships and how we view ourselves in our world.  My chest felt tight – an area of our emotional heart and lungs where sadness, repressed feelings, and emotional pain often resides.  And of course, my jaw – clenched tight withholding the words I want to say but don’t – swallowing them down because we were taught not to express anger or that our words would be met with punishment.

My experience in BodyTalk and Reiki allowed me to see this for what it was – I saw that this was a memory resurfacing that had a lot of emotional content still attached to it that I had not yet fully processed therefore it reared its ugly head, because I was ready to do the healing.  My body was yelling at me to pay attention and figure it out.  So, my 50-year-old self took a step back and held space for my 7-10-15 year-old self to have the temper tantrum, feel the anger, feel resentment, feel the victim, and cry, all the while unraveling the associated memories, watching them float through my mind, then disappear.  I’m not going to lie – it was a long two days before I felt better.  But I did the work.  I did my tapping techniques, I had a BodyTalk session, I ALLOWED myself to FEEL the feelings, I journaled, I walked outside, I ate soothing foods, I drank a lot of water, I took lots of Epsom salt baths, I slept a lot.


So, what is the point of all this?  The point is that this was MY emotional holding pattern.  It shows up in my abdomen, chest, and jaw, and I was able to name the emotions that I was holding there and why. This is the gift our body’s give us – we get to listen and learn from them daily.  I invite you to take some time after reading this, close your eyes and see where your emotional holding patterns are.  I encourage you to Feel your Feelings too and not wait for them to show up as physical aches and pains.


For more information or if you would like to talk more about BodyTalk and Reiki to help identify and release your emotional holding patterns, contact me at:  www.steppingstoneshealthandwellness.com


In service,

Dana Clay

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